


after everything's changed (the pieces feel distorted)

by WattStalf



Series: one and one makes two (but three and four can come along too) [3]
Category: Baccano!
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Sedoretu, probably angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-06-28 08:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19808410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: And slowly, Leila begins to want to protect her.





	after everything's changed (the pieces feel distorted)

**Author's Note:**

> You know, this was originally supposed to be a happy story...

Her first impression of Lua is that she is the most beautiful woman that she has ever seen, but the second impression is that she’s kind of creepy, though Leila doesn’t mention that to Ladd  _ or _ Lua. Things have been strained enough with Ladd as it is, after they went off like idiots and she got hurt like an idiot, and just barely survived it.

He hasn’t been the same ever since, and ever since, she’s felt as though her best friend was the one to die on their stupid “vacation,” rather than it almost being her. Lua, and his entire relationship with her, is evidence of that change, and, from the beginning, Leila isn’t too sure about her. Who is just grateful that Ladd is considering things between them again, and Leila is glad to have him back as well, but she can’t help but wonder how this will actually work.

Since they were children, it felt like everything was nearly figured out for them, and that all they had to do was find a girl, one that was beautiful and somehow perfect for both her and Ladd. She doesn’t actually know when she fell in love with Who, or if it only happened because she always knew it would, or if it would have happened whether they were childhood friends or perfect strangers. Ladd’s feelings are even more of a mystery, but they always shared the desire to protect him, and that bonded them together, as the perfect partners in crime, until Ladd started to slip away.

Because he couldn’t protect  _ her _ , even though she never asked him to protect her to begin with.

Their friendship never fully ended, only became strained, but it didn’t feel like he came back to them until he came back with Lua, and he was already so different by then. Leila could always see the darkness below the surface, and did what she could to make Ladd keep it in check, but he was already starting to slip even before what happened. Even so, she wonders, if she had been able to take care of herself, if he wouldn’t have changed.

But there’s no point in dwelling on the past, and Who, for all of his fear of the new Ladd, and despite how reluctantly he is pulled along into Ladd’s schemes and antics, is happier with him than without. He wants the three of them to stick together, like they always have, and Leila will always care for her best friend, even if he’s different now. Even if the woman he brings with him, insisting he can marry no one else, is strange and a little bit creepy, and is so preoccupied with death that it is tragically obvious why Ladd has latched onto her and refused to let go.

~X~

Her impression of Lua slowly grows over time. Leila still thinks she is beautiful, and still thinks there is something creepy to her hollow eyes and expression, and is unnerved by her fascination with death, but the way she focuses that entirely on Ladd, and the way he uses that as an excuse to protect her, to never lose her to anyone, adds a complexity that Leila struggles to wrap her head around. And then there is her thing with the puzzles, that Leila both understands and doesn’t.

And slowly, Leila begins to want to protect her.

She isn’t sure what it is that she wants to protect her  _ from _ , if it’s in the way that Ladd wants to protect her, from everyone and anything that could harm her besides him, if she wants to help him protect her for his own purposes. Or maybe she wants to protect Lua from her own dark desires, maybe she even wants to protect her from Ladd, and maybe she wants to bring a little bit of life into her eyes, and see just how far she can go, how long she can live.

~X~

But she isn’t even sure if protecting her to ensure she lives is the same as protecting her from Ladd. For how different her best friend has become, there are times when Leila thinks she understands things about him that he does not say out loud. Though he’s slipped farther than she can reach, and takes lives like it’s nothing, she knows that Lua does not fit his ordinary profile. If anything, she should be the type he’d take the least amount of interest in, and sometimes, when she actually listens to how he talks to her, she notices the obvious out he gives himself.

Sometimes she wonders if declaring himself the only one able to kill Lua is just a means of protecting her, or even protecting himself. If he really wanted to do it, then why would he keep waiting for the right moment? Why would he make excuses and set conditions when she’s vulnerable and impatient?

Maybe her feelings for Lua are not that different from his, even if they manifest themselves differently.

~X~

She falls in love with Lua so easily and without realizing it, but loving her from that point on is not easy. There is nothing she can say or do to change the other woman’s mind or worldview; Lua has been like this for so long, longer than Leila or Ladd has known her, and Ladd has only ever encouraged it.

It’s difficult to realize she loves someone who will always have a death wish, and who expects one of her lovers to make that wish come true. She won’t be able to change Lua or change her mind, and she won’t simply fall back out of love with her at this point. Things were never supposed to become this difficult, they were just glad to have Ladd back.

Things were never supposed to become this difficult, she and Ladd were just running away for a little while. They were just supposed to take a little trip, and then they were going to find a beautiful woman to join them, and maybe that’s technically how things played out, but all the things that happened in the middle were not supposed to, and it complicated the outcome.

In a way, Leila knows that it’s partially her fault that things got messed up the way they did, but then again, she never asked Ladd to decide to protect her or develop a complex because she was too weak and stupid to take care of herself as a kid. She never asked Ladd to be so fucked up to begin with, so it’s his fault just as much as it is hers.

The two impulsive Mornings and the Evenings who follow them regardless. That’s just how things are, and how they will always be, and whether it is what she wanted or not, whether it was how things were supposed to turn out or not, Leila is still here. She still takes care of Who, like she always has, and she begins to want to take care of Lua, and they have Ladd back, at least a little bit.

She is lucky to be alive to begin with, she knows, and she is glad that she’s here for this, at the very least. Leila doesn’t like to imagine what would have happened if she weren’t around at all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested in my writing updates, please follow my fanfiction twitter @WattStalf  
> I'll follow back so long as you don't post anything hateful!


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